The Future
Year–2035
Today my house help came very late. When I opened the door, I found her a bit strange. There was a blink in her eyes, a Bluetooth logo on her sari, and she stood saying
‘ नमस्ते, I’ve been updated to version 9.0. Shall we begin mopping?'”
I was aghast! Now what is this new नौटंकी, I thought.
I was irritated: कान्ता बाई, आज देर क्यों हो गयी?
“Madam, according to Google Maps, optimal sweeping time is 10:43 AM. I’m not late. You’re early.”
I was losing my cool. I had to rush for an important conference in a little while. I continued,
कान्ता बाई तुमको बोला था न…..
Before I could finish, she butted in
“Madam… I analyzed your tone. Are you angry? You haven’t had tea yet, right? Come, I’ll make it. Don’t stress”
कान्ता बाई मैं तुमसे कुछ पूछ रही हूँ……
“Yesterday you said, ‘Kanta, take your time.’ Today you say ‘Why late?’ I’m confused, madam. Shall I install Clarity Plugin in you?”
और ये क्या भाषा बोल रही हो ? किसने सिखाया ?
Kanta Bai continued without a change in modulation
“System Error 403: ‘Permission to scold me’ not granted. Please contact Admin.”
ठीक है ठीक है जल्दी अंदर आओ और काम निबटाओ, I said as I had to go out.
पहले एक चाय बना देना
Kanta Bai:
“Yes, madam. Brewed at 83°C for 2.4 minutes. Caffeine levels optimized. Emotional support not included.”
आज bathroom cleaning भी करना है। भूल गयी।?
Kanta Bai:
“Negative, madam. Sensors detected no unusual microbial growth. Also, your husband’s towel has been reclassified as a biohazard. Shall I burn it?”
I was speechless….
आज इतने धीरे धीरे क्यों झाड़ू लगा रही है?
AI-Kanta Bai:
“Madam, I have activated Zen Cleaning Mode. Each stroke is infused with positive energy. Dust particles are being spiritually released.”
Balcony में बहुत dust है-साफ़ कर देना
“Balcony dust detected. Initiating ‘Swachh Bharat Bot Swirl 3000’. Also, while I’m at it, shall I build a dustproof dome around the house? Elon Musk offered me a discount.”
Fed up, I thought of changing the topic.
और society में क्या खबर है?
Kanta Bai:
“Mrs. Ingle’s maid uploaded a reel of her साबूदाना खिचड़ी —went viral. Mrs. Sharma’s parrot escaped during yoga.
Whattttttt? I wasn’t able to handle her quickness!
Time for me to go, I thought
कान्ता बाई चाबियां कहाँ रखी हैं ?
Kanta Bai:
“Replaced with facial recognition. Your entry is approved. But that aunty who comes uninvited during tea-time? Access Denied.”
And she intercepted me in the doorway ……….
madam मुझे एक दिन की छुट्टी चाहिए
छुट्टी? ……………नहीं नहीं….. मुझे एक article लिखना है AI पर. बहुत काम है…….
“But if you, give me leave tomorrow, I will assist you in your literary ventures—be your proofreader, your muse, your chai-making inspiration—
मैं वो कान्ता हूँ जो सिर्फ बर्तन नहीं घुमाती … मैं alphabets भी चमका सकती हूँ
Author’s note : Be prepared. We could and would be having this soon !